Infidelity

When your partner in life, whether husband or boyfriend, wife or girlfriend  is cheating on you or has cheated on you in the past, I wouldn’t have any apprehension that the first thing to come into your mind is to ask why.

Definitely you’re not alone. The fact is that, this is not an unusual scenario. Many are victims of infidelity and most of them want to know why their spouse or loved ones’ reason for being unfaithful and what persuade them to have an illicit affair.

Knowing the reason or reasons on why your significant other commit such act can help you deal with the situation. It will become your crucial key to making a wise decision about the best possible way to deal with the offender’s infidelity.

In case you decide to rectify with your cheating mate, knowing the reason behind the unfaithful act or betrayal can give you intuition on how to rebuild your relationship and will lessen the chances that the sin be enacted again. However, if you decide to leave your cheating mate, knowing the reason for your significant other’s deceiving act can ease the healing process, and let you move on without letting the impediments from your old relationship influence your future affairs in life.

But let me just say that I am completely pleased with how you feel. You are justified in your feelings and are allow to stagger in them for as long as you deem it crucial or necessary. On the contrary, I would like to suggest that is not the bottomline of anyone’s life and whoever faces the same agony, still, has a choice in this matter. Nobody has the right to judge over your thoughts and feelings. It is the one thing that belongs to you and only you through imperfections. And knowing what is real, I would like to emphasize on the possibility that you are the only one responsible for the way you feel for only you have full control over your own thoughts and feelings. I suggest that you may try to redirect your thoughts and focus into the ones that are more pleasing to you or rather would ease your pain. You’ve got to choose, so better start choosing thoughts that would make you feel good if not completely happy. 

We have full control over every aspect of our lives. Begin to realize the power of your will and start to think your way with your unrealized self-consciousness and much importantly, your freedom.

Photo credit:  anokhimedia.com

We Are What We Think

Today as a result of ordinary day to day activities, many people stay up late at night and sleep late into the morning. Such logical time hold them down with others as well as making them prone to stress upon mismatch schedule. How they actually sleep affects how stress they are.

Let me call it this way.. I’ve done the chores. I’m thru with my work. I knew I feel stress, upset and nervous but the bottom line is: I am not happy.

But how do we deal with ourselves being unhappy? Somehow it’s the thought that creates how we feel. As long as you don’t have the thought the feeling will not exist. And it’s exactly the other way around.

You can replace anybody, improved your physical attributes or even turn around your whole environment. But just like any movie scenario, it won’t last. And so this time, just like a speck of dust on the camera lens we have to wipe off the dirt. We have to change the scenes of the movie and create a different scenario. It means you have to change your mind from thinking what you think.

Many of our thoughts and speculations are just products of our creative assumptions. Is this for real? Is this the real score of my planned presentation? Will this outfit gonna impress everyone? Those are just suppositions or hypothesis. And only few are just credible.

We should learn truth the positive way. Always ask yourself if you are having thoughts as 100% truth. For the benefit of yourself you must think without obscurity of the doubt. As we can even turn our very stressful thought the other way around. Believe on what we are better for. Alas! We are what we think! 

The Power of Forgiveness

The weak can never forgive..

Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong..

~Mahatma Gandhi~

It took me days to think of this scenario.. I remember one important person in my life, it has a valuable lesson and great to follow especially for those who want to move on. Have you ever rushed to forgive someone and found out it didn’t really work? Like you still felt bitter and crappy everytime you thought of the situation? Have you ever wondered what was really wrong with you?

When you hold bitterness or resentment towards another, you are enslave by the situation, an emotional link that is harder than a stone. Forgiveness is the only way that can untie the bond and be free.

Forgiveness is something precious we grant to ourselves. It is not something I in my deepest bestow on someone else in their weakness, because I am such a friendly and compassionate person. Our refusal to forgive will only drive us into deeper nostalgia that would take away a lot of positive energy from us. Sometimes, it is just an advocate in holding on to our anger and grievances but the sad thing is that, we are just hurting ourselves. Forgiveness allow us to redeem an immeasurable arsenal of free spirit. It releases an impassioned toxin from within oneself.

In order to be productive and creative in our lives, we need strength and vitality that will sustain physical, emotional and mental activity. We need our most brilliant spirit to be of service with others and that overwhelming controversies of our lifetime.

Anger has become the poster child for all the bad things. When it has been filled and bottled up and the lid does come off, anger results in fury and other undesirable behavior. Forgiveness refers not to the offense but the woundedness of the offender. But this doesn’t mean you’ll run back to your enemy because of compassion for the damaged person he or she is. Of course you want to spare yourself from maltreatment and injustice. However, from an immediate point of view, you can try to forgive the sensible or insensible ordeal that motivates everyone of us. Our aspiration to alter anger is a call for peace, worth desirable and definitely soul searching.

Whatever our pain, whatever our situation, we should not allow ourselves be attached to any endless grievances. Let us recharge our spirit and be free!

Photo credit: rejuvenatingwomen.com

Live Your Yes! | Life Coach

A LIFE…

. . . that fires you up and fuels you to your full potential

. . . like your going through the motions?

. . . with conviction and against any odds

. . . created from your own standards and rules

. . . of excitement, empowerment and ease

How vast is your journey ahead? With me now, I’d like to step a thousand ahead of my time… But let us first talk about the crisis we or others might have been going through before disclosing any of our potentials.

 

When life starts to get complicated, how do we deal about it? How do we face and accept the challenge? The truth is, men and women's journey during the midlife ages passed through, in different ways with different challenges and different needs. Unlike single individual, married people tend to have imminent impact with each other. The pressure is otherwise inevitable. As a matter of fact, the historical aspect at which we formally enter “middle age” is of little importance. What’s much more intriguing are the psychological changes thought to accompany with it. Most people believed that it's a genuine psychiatric phenomenon usually takes place between ages 40-60 but there are instances not later than 32 arise.

This life situation does not happen in just a blink. It always takes place randomly in the context of our relationship. On the immense social level there are developmental points for life's experiences, our own expectation of happiness, ambition or even greed for success. But no matter where or when you started your journey, most of us end up in an unknown territory. Our fate seems to have been controlled or is somewhat coloured by the reactions of our partners and peers in life. Whether you plan it together, silently comply, support each other, your partner's midlife crisis becomes yours.

We often feel stuck in a dark unknown place without options. I have observed, however, as we slowly assimilate the casualty and re-define ourselves and our future in matters we could never have imagined. There are times in life that we might need a life coach, because no matter how much sane we are there will always be times in life when we are not capable of thinking correctly and decide the right things for ourselves.

 

How do we resolve this crucial battle? Most data reveal that this group of adults reformulate their goals in the wake of such life analysis, approaching more towards maintenance of essential goals, holding things on their right status that would safeguard their future rather than setting their sights for new unsettled dreams and aspirations. It is rather up to us to adapt or create new approach or new philosophy for the world. We can give it all and developed a slouch at the same time. It offers an emotionally defensive feeling against anxieties and distress tied to unrealizable ambitions.

 

The response of the people around us, as well as the use of outside resources can be of great help and reduce the chances of getting lost or of traveling alone. As I'm always saying, "no one has the power in his hand that could make his life perfect. Life is just a matter of age and time." So "live your yes!" You and I! Live a life that fires you up and fuels you to your full potential!

Love Still Begins at 40

What could be possibly you're thinking upon reaching the age of forty and still single? Do you think you need love counselling? Do you feel you are too old for a relationship or in case you have, are you capable of maintaining the same? This burden could have been harder on the part of a woman rather than a man.

 

Before, women over 40 were mostly worried about their age. But now, I've seen a different view of the picture. I may say that somehow, there are crowds whom are vulnerable about the topic and are open to the fact that any situation could not be justified through age limits.

 



 

Women at this age primarily will seek for her goal and that is to find a good man to spend the rest of her life with. Texting, sexting and even online dating or speed dating is the name of the game. These are now the present day scenarios of a common love cycle. We, women, must think about because men, our counterpart are using all these means to catch their prey. It's about time, considering our pride and dignity, to do the right moves.. As they are saying, “Sing out loud and dance to the tune of the crowd”.

 

It has been widely accepted and known to all that men love younger women but unlike them, women should avoid younger men. As a woman who wants to be love must first learn how to love herself. Don't let the symptoms of aging ruins your life. Always remember that men fall for looks and beauty. One great beauty can bring one great nation fall. Get back in shape and prove to the world that you are young both in mind and body. It is but rightful for your age that you deserve one great man of your dream.

 

At this point of life, one must realize that today isn't late at all. You must believe that still, this is the right time to find someone to love if you just let it be. Even our failures in the past should have given us the best lessons in life. They have definitely prepared us for a more astonishing, matured and long, lasting relationship. Don't let heartbreak stop you from loving... Finding true love later in life is like a supernatural phenomenon... I, myself, have to prove... Love is lovelier the ___th around? :)

Happiness vs. Stress

An individual's attitude towards life is a major key factor that could affect someone's health, their susceptibility against illness and also life expectancy. One way or the other, a positive outlook can take us unto a longer route in life. Happiness may somehow, varies from one person to another, but the outgoing and social during their younger years tend to be much happier and contented upon reaching old age. They have quite transformed themselves. They have developed a successful relationship both at home and at work and have achieved a much healthier physical and mental aging. Nonetheless, anybody could resort and make Psychotherapy as his option.

 

One famous contributor to happiness trending nowadays is the TGIF spirit. In fact, there's much and a big reason behind the acronym TGIF that it has become a universally famous expression. An undisputed passion felt by people from all angles of life... Wow! "Thank God it's Friday!" I knew most of us will agree and rather not be surprise for ranking file workers or even those people with high status positions are possess on this current BOLD spirit. I, myself find out just how free time has significantly affects a person's well-being. It has given me more opportunities to create a strong bond with my family as well as with my friends, sharing and interrelating on each other’s experiences that can enhance our growth emotionally towards a more psychologically independent human.

 

It is rather a good principle not a concept that we should be concern to retain the balance of not exerting or indulging ourselves with too much work. Regardless of educational attainment, relationship or even socioeconomic status, men and women of all ages have that seventh cloud atmosphere during weekends and much more on vacations! Have enough sleep and enjoy the rest of your days.

 



 

Our identity and disposition as individual during the earlier part of adulthood have much an enduring impact on later decades of our well-being. The much related teenage agony should neither be considered a health matter nor just a temporary argument. I am thinking it could be both, otherwise, Psychotherapy could be an option. No human has the power in his hand that could make his life perfect, but we may encourage eagerness and intimacy with our youngsters to prepare for a healthy physical and psychologically uplift spirit in the future. It is definitely impossible to achieve a stress-free life but we can forget the one awful aspect of the world. Let us carry more positive emotions that can give us far-reaching benefits while we’re still alive. So be cool... Think young... Love yourself… And be happy!

Single Mother's Dilemma

Being a single mother is a tough responsibility. By all means, I respect the fact that if I haven’t lived my life this way, then I could not imagine it would be impossible for me to understand what others have been through as a single parent. Or maybe, what could I be without a psychotherapy? When I need it and not have it?



Could you be one of those people who would consider that being a single mother is the toughest job in today's modern society? I have asked a few single moms about their views of their own dilemma's. Most of them have replied the same: considering the fact that their children will never have the chance to cherish the fun and enjoy what having both parents home feels like.

I apologize to inhabit this kind of topic. Single people may have problems but single mom with children has even more. My point is that, I want to acknowledge every determination that confides with this astonishing situation. And not to exclude myself, I want to take responsibility for my role of adding to the list of single mothers. I have four kids with one man, that I became single upon his death. Sometimes I just thought, maybe it's an impression of my children to have that disappointment that their father did not make it this far... And it would be redundant to think that they have been longing and expecting someone to care of them, at least.

I have been a single mom for about 4 1/2 years now. Good thing I did not resort to seek the help of health specialist. I thought it sometimes that it would be good for me to have a psychotherapy. My depression did not progress. I have accepted His will and my fate. I have blamed no one. I have to stand firm that I realized I should be hard to the extent of being a brainy heartless. Walking on the path of no return is what I usually pursue for myself... Well in fact, and I’m thinking and considering this myself, there are those women who become more aggressive dating multiple men due to the fact that most men are unwilling to give their commitment.... A single mother's dilemma? Yes... Why do you think a women should remain faithful and loyal with those kind of people? Should women put all their luck in one man's casket when they are full aware that this man does not want to commit? Should they divert to the proposal of other men to retain their options open?

I have no intention to judge anyone but I am having a hard time considering this one. Let us not add to any obvious and rather unfavorable traits as undesirable human entity if we may consider it that way. Both men and women should be responsible for their own actions. This era has given us the impression that we do not have the same opportunities as other people might be. It would be best to counter this fanciful intimation by giving each other loving and understanding support, especially our children.

The recently demanding change in the society has made me uplift more of my spirit. I realized I have to work harder and continue to compensate further for the sake of my children that they can have a better fighting chance for survival. That, is my legacy to my children.